Reflections on Life and Death

LIFE AND DEATH

Nature relaxes by herself in a magical land of her own. A human lays with her in a meadow on a mountain. She calms the winds and focuses the sun; the human smiles in return. She wafts a breeze over the peak, and clouds stack in the distance.

“Moooommmm!!” Life calls from the other room, pulling Nature from her work. “Death is being bossy again!”

“Yeah, well tell Life she can’t just hog all the people forever!” Death wines.

“Oh, boo hoo.” Life taunts.

“Stop this. NOW!!” Nature’s voice clangs around the empty space like a gong in the night. “Life, your purpose is to teach the people what they need to know before they meet him.” Her gaze shifts from Life to Death. “And Death, your purpose is to wait for her to teach the people, so that they may advance with you. These are the processes in the grand plan that you control, and you can choose to help or hurt your mother with them.”

Life and Death look at each other with sorrow and awkwardness. Nature twists her fingers together, and Death disappears.

He reappears watching his mother interact with a human. She is gentle and kind, but warning of her dangers. The human loves her endlessly, and they play in the high alpine air. Death watches as she shows the human how to thrive, and he thinks to himself how he can do the same.

He approaches his sister and tells her to bring the humans to their mother. She recoils at the thought at first, hoping to teach them about her own lessons. But then she sees what Death saw, and Love taps her on the shoulder.

After this moment, Life brought humans to Nature, and Nature brought humans to Death. The humans never knew it, but Death brought them to Love, and then Love brought them back to Nature.

This is the cycle of existence, as Nature created it, with her children and the Elements as players of the game.

***

OUR SMILES

Many times I’ve seen Death’s anticipatory grin, his cracked, withered skeleton rendered an ashy black underneath his even darker robe. His teeth had all fallen away, but his intention still remained.

I saw this in the eyes of my mother when she grabbed me by the neck as a child, and in the rain puddle outside my apartment the night I drove home drunk. I almost crashed my car, and I could see the woman’s face still, like it was burned into my eyes. In the back seat of her car sat Death, smiling.

I saw his smile again when I crashed my car on the highway as an adult. I was overworked, and I hadn’t slept in over 20 hours. Until then, that is. I dozed off with my cruise control set to just below 80, and ended up in the back of a Land Rover. A week later I got a notice in the mail that I was being sued for more than a quarter million dollars, and Death’s smile was in the stamp.

A few years later, I was driving my jeep home from a friend’s house. It was pouring like I’d never seen, and the streets were starting to flood. A lifted truck with way too many spacers thought he could brave the water, but he flipped sideways and pushed me off the bridge instead. My jeep slid off the bridge and slammed into the water. Somehow it stayed upright and I sat there in shock as water filled my car from the bottom. I looked out the window as I brought my knife out of my pocket, and Death floated, his legs criss-cross applesauce on the other side. He erupted with laughter as I smashed the glass and water flushed me into the back seat.

He smiled heavy yet again when I did my first drive in the snow. My car ripped sideways and I couldn’t avoid hitting the curb and sign on the sidewalk. I had never driven this kind of car in the snow. I saw his smile in the rear view mirror as my car tire popped with dedication to the act. BANG. My car lurched up and sideways in the opposite direction and I anticipated a flip.

Lately, I’ve been trying to be a lot nicer to myself. It is really difficult, and I try so hard to be patient and positive. I’m looking for the reasons I have to love myself, and I am actually finding some. Ever since I started doing this, I’ve also stopped driving as much. It wasn’t seeing Death so many times that scared me. It was the fact that he found it funny. He thought of me coming to him, and cackled. He knew I wasn’t ready. I think he even despised me for being so unprepared.

The last time I saw his face, he was not smiling. In fact, he was very curious. He stood on a mountain ridge across from me, watching more intently than he ever had. He watched as my body careened down a rocky face on nothing but a slice of metal-edged, wax-covered wood.

His eye sockets got taller with the shock of my control. I became part of the terrain through the small trees in the spine and launched off the cliff at the end. Powder snow sprayed as I landed six feet below where I launched.

Nature sang as she made me dance by my shoulders, her own little barbie doll. Death watched us play as I spun from another cliff. Nature threw me hard this time, vanishing with a snowflake ensemble in the air above and reappearing under me in the landing. She caught me, and we looked up at Death. His face sat rigid for a few moments until his ductile cheekbones rose. His jawline stayed sealed as it formed a semi-circle on his skull. He raised his bony hands, clacked them together five times, and vanished in a dark smoke above the snow.

***

THE ENDS OF THE EARTH

There I sat with Death, admiring the snowy nothingness that is Earth’s South Pole. I chose my path like many others, but I could have been extraordinary compared to humans. I was massively capable, only a fraction of what I am now, but nonetheless brilliant. Maybe a bit of a narcissist, too…

“Mae Weather-” Death cackled a classic villainous laugh in the first octave.

“Yeah whatever.” I chortled back. “That’s what they called me. Fighting for Science! Little did I know it wasn’t even close to over.”

Death let out a raspy gargle sound. “Ahhhh. But you were obsessive, and you discovered everything they need to know. They choose now.” His voice didn’t seem so threateningly deep and booming in the snow.

“True. So… Why the visit?”

Death pointed a wretched bony finger into a wall of snow.

A dark shadow with a lantern emerged from the blizzard. It was a man, dressed in leather and a full bear pelt. He must have been about 85 years old. He was oblivious to me and the Reaper, but he seemed to know we were near.

The old man sat down against the pole marker, and he grunted as he fished through his pack. He pulled out a photo of a man in his mid-to-late forties. His hair was receding; his eyes sported crows feet. He was blissfully smiling.

The man placed his finger on the torn right edge. He tried to cry but his eyes froze over. His heart, so overwhelmed by the completion of his journey, gave out. His body lie there on the snow, getting covered by the blizzard.

“So…” The man said solemnly, “What now?”

Now a spirit in front of me, I was bewildered. He looked so happy, so finished.

“Why have you come here?” I said in an exaggerated spooky tone so as to copy Death’s usual schtick.

“Well–” He stopped to see if he even had the words. “A lot of people say they’ll go to the ends of the Earth for someone. I guess I really did.”

He looked past me, finally noticing Death’s tattered black robes. His face went white and his gaze turned blank.

Death rose over my right shoulder and shoved me aside. I guess I shouldn’t have taken his line. The man froze further as Death floated toward him. He got close, six inches away and asked, “WHY have you come here?” This time his voice echoed for miles.

“I was hoping he would see it all…” The man said, tearing up. “I just wanted him to know it was true.”

And that was it. They both vanished and I sat alone again in a blizzard at the Earth’s South Pole.

***

SAUL

“Help! Help me!”

I watched the man scream after being pinned down by a forklift in the back of a warehouse. The forklift started spinning, and he fell out, then it fell on him. Unlucky, really. It came to rest on his left leg, and it hit his right knee while falling over, shattering it. He had no other option than to yell. Little did he know it was his time. His right knee had turned to shrapnel and eviscerated his femoral artery. He only had minutes to live.

Death appeared in a cloud of black smoke right next to me and I jumped. “Christ, man.”

“You are incorrect.” He didn’t look at me but he giggled like a child at his own joke.

“Whatever, go get your boy over there.” He cackled like the Green Goblin from the 2002 version of Spider-Man and appeared at the side of the man.

“Saulllll.” He bellowed dramatically. Saul screamed with the most genuine horror I’ve ever seen, and I had to give it to the stupid theatrical skeleton. “Would you like your freedom?” He said dubiously. Saul shook his head hard in a panic as his eyes rolled back. His body went limp.

Saul emerged from his body and Death grabbed him by the shoulders, shaking his soul vigorously. He wailed at Saul and said something about forgiving himself or forgiving somebody? I don’t know.

Then he poofed back to me, and someone in the warehouse found Sau’s body. They ran over to check on him, now unconscious, and then called someone on their phone.

“So, it wasn’t real this time?” I said, looking at the side of Death’s hood. He looked straight ahead like he always does. “He hasn’t met anyone yet. He will be alone if I take him now.” I thought about his intentions and saw his vast plan in front of me. Saul was not in touch with any force of Nature, and he desperately needed to be.

Death lifted his hand toward me, and I eyed it. His long fingers and hand bones just kind of stuck together in the same general space, and it seemed impossible. I put my hand into his and we appeared in the Hall of the Elements.
“How did it go?” Wind asked. “Did he go along with it?”

“He wasn’t ready.” Death glared across the room as it filled with Fire. Water rushed in and they spread to separate corners. Earth rolled in and the elements swirled into one. Nature stepped out of a circular white sphere in the air and descended steps of her own creation.

“I shall speak with him.” Nature said frankly.

We followed her to Saul’s family vacation, which occurred years later for him, but only seconds later for us. We sat up the beach from him as the volcano across the sea exploded. He ran, but was knocked to the ground by the shock wave.

***

THE GRAND PLAY

Earth fell into a harmonic dance of cascading debris and burning lava. Wind guided the shockwaves and smoke from Earth’s volcano to her lands beyond. Water churned and writhed as the lava touched her delicate body. Waves formed and power surged. The elements played hot potato with the energy they stewed.

Saul picked his face up out of the sand and spit it out, but it stuck to the insides of his mouth like a spoonful of cinnamon. He coughed and turned back to marvel at Nature’s grand play: the volcanic island eruption.

Nature stepped down from the clouds onto the sand. She surrounded Saul with her embrace. She held him in her massive lap called Earth and introduced them. She showed him the land and its glory. She then pointed out to the sea, where she introduced Water. Water reared and labored to contain that vast power of Earth. Nature showed Saul their interactions and demonstrated the intricacy of the elements.

Saul sat in his bubble of protection as a Tsunami rose. The massive wall cast a great shadow on the beach, which introduced Life and Death. They stand next to Nature and Saul in an embrace, reaching out with hands that vastly rival each other. Life’s is bright and soft, like the snow in the heart of Winter. Death’s hand extends like a set of branches in thick fog. His fingers are decrepit, but somehow comforting.

Together they all show Saul the ways of Nature. Life, with her endless trails shrouded in a beautiful happy ending. And Death’s aged wisdom flowed through Saul as he accepted their hands.

Nature rose and looked toward her children’s chaos. She called off the event and the eruption ceased. The ground began to settle, and with it the sea. Water finished her day’s work as the last of the lava poured toward her. Fire departed, his glowing special effects no longer needed. Wind lay down on the beach and they all rest together.

Saul looked down at his leg, which had been amputated from the knee down years ago. His prosthesis shone in the sunlight. He saw the vivid scenery from the forklift incident, and he remembered Death’s interaction with him. Then he understood Life’s efforts as she had guided him through the last few years.

Saul’s head bowed among the elements and Mother Nature. They faded into the background of his senses as he panned the beach for his brother and father. They find each other and indulge in a large group hug.

As they walked off the beach toward the resort, Saul turned to his brother Simon.

“Maybe we should do this more often.”

“What? Almost die?” Simon chuckled satirically.

“No.” Saul shakes his head and points to the beach. “Spend time with the elements.”

***